By Tanner Lecumberry, Posted December 18, 2013
Do buy a giant bucket of cheese puffs, AND EAT THEM ALL.
Don’t even think about sharing, that voids the challenge and makes you a pansy.
If you can’t eat all those cheese puffs, do put them in your parents’ stockings.
Don’t claim it though. This is where it would be handy to still believe in Santa.
Do have wild snowball fights, if it ever snows here.
Don’t cry if you get hit in the eye; take it as a life lesson and be a man.
Do carry on your family traditions this holiday season.
Don’t watch “A Christmas Story”. It’s seriously the stupidest movie ever. How many times have you seen it, anyway? How many times can you watch it without exploding?
Do buy your family presents. It’s time for our high schoolers to become young adults.
Don’t ask for things for Christmas, either. Just be happy with whatever that fat man in the red puts in your stinky old sock.
Do wash your stocking every few years. You get a lot of candy in that thing, and your closet could have mites.
Don’t actually hang your stockings by a wood stove. That’s a fire hazard waiting to happen, and I don’t think you want to spend Christmas day shivering outside watching your house burn down. Let’s hope you wear pajamas.
Do thank everyone who gave you a gift, there are some people who aren’t lucky enough to get presents.
Most of all, don’t leave cookies out for Santa. He can get his own. I think we all know what I mean.
Do enjoy your break, and Happy Holidays!