Fake News: Lowry to lower graduation requirements

By Brody Goucher  Posted June 4, 2015

Due to record low graduation rates across America, the state of Nevada has decided to lower the amount of credits needed to graduate from 23.5 credits to 21 credits so many students will be able to graduate in just three years.

It is common knowledge that the majority of students tend to goof around their freshmen year and become credit deficient but with only 21 credits needed to graduate, everyone should be able to graduate in four years.

Even with Lowry’s phenomenal staff and outstanding teaching methods, students are just too busy for school and Nevada is recognizing this and making the proper changes.

“I think the reduction in credits will have a positive impact on students and honestly we’ve basically given up on all of our students anyway,” said a member of Lowry’s staff.

Students have been calling for this change for years and now that Lowry is officially a three year school, teenagers everywhere in Winnemucca are celebrating. The change will allow students to do whatever they want from blaring boom boxes wherever they walk to playing football directly in front of the school despite having a real football field less the 100 ft away, all without having to worry about their grades.

The change in graduation requirements will also free up teachers to do more of their own thing; everyone’s favorite english teacher will be able to focus more on his romantic novels, and Mr. Ron Espinola can rock out to all his boy bands.

Reduced requirements will make it easier for students and teachers to do their very difficult jobs and ultimately prepare students for a world that will hand them anything they want in life.