Advice Column

By Rylee Mathis Posted December 12, 2012

Kylie L. asks, “Rylee, I’ve only been in one high school relationship although I’ve seen my friends go through plenty, but none of them last. Why?”

Well, Kylie, it’s been my experience that the majority of boys are looking for a physical partner rather than a soul mate. As girls, we trust too soon and fall in love too easily when a guy says the right things. Not all girls are like this, just the majority. We naively fall for a guy and eventually, he gets what he wants or gets bored. Most of them ditch after that; leaving girls cynical and insecure. Instead of going through a hundred relationships and trying to make all of them last, don’t just date anyone who asks or pays the smallest amount of attention to you. Wait for someone who genuinely wants to be with you and wants to work on the relationship just as hard as you do. This helps to avoid harsh break-ups and ruined friendships.

High school relationships also end due to an unequal amount of feelings between the two people. While one is head over heels, the other is planning the breakup. Sometimes it’s hard to see it coming. The uninterested person doesn’t want to hurt the other’s feelings so they don’t say anything until they decide to tell them it’s over. That problem can also be reversed: the couple could be too honest with each other and that causes fights. Other reasons are things like jealousy, cheating, and trust issues- on both parts, not just the girl’s.

Always remember: You certainly don’t have to find your soul mate in high school. You’ve got the rest of your life to find the right person just for you.
Anonymous asks, “Rylee, what would you do if there was something you didn’t like about your friend but you didn’t know how to tell them?”
Sometimes it’s hard to tell a friend that something they’re doing is bugging you because you’re afraid of their reaction. Don’t let it build until you blow up on them one day for doing whatever it is that bothers you. Just calmly and nicely try to tell them you’d like them to do this annoying thing less when they’re around you. If they’re a good friend, they’ll understand. If they’re an acquaintance, just try to ignore it.

Keeping things like this from a best friend can really cause problems in the friendship. Once they start annoying you, you start telling other people how annoying they are, it gets back to him/her that you were talking behind their back and then you’re not friends anymore. It’s the vicious cycle of high school that can easily be reversed by simply talking it out with your friend.