By Kevin Boyle Posted December 14, 2011
Do believe in Christmas miracles unless you want to live in the real world.
Do play “Skyrim”, cut all social contact.
Do not try to climb up the chimney; I am pretty sure you won’t fit.
Do not give clothing as a gift, Grandma!
However, do regift; it is not illegal, just frowned upon.
Do not ask for a Red Rider BB gun. You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
Do spend time with your family until you realize the reason you live away from them.
Do throw snowballs at everyone; headshots are double points, but not at school.
Do stick your tongue to a frozen pole; I hear it tastes great.
Do wear homemade sweaters; they are “cute”.
Do make a snow angel, frozen behinds are in style.
Do not text other people, “It’s snowing”. I know it’s snowing.
Do go sledding over the break, leg casts are all the rage.
Do not make snowmen, Frosty isn’t real.
Do not make New Year’s resolutions unless you’re OK with lying to yourself.
Do not write me an anonymous letter; I won’t read it.
Do not read this article.
Do stay classy Lowry High.