By Ale Ibarra and Samm Sharp Posted February 22, 2019
Aries (March 20 – April 20) – Bro. Follow a Bob Ross tutorial, put on a coconut oil facemask and chill the heck out, man.
Taurus (April 20 – May 21) – Being persistent is a good quality to have, but perhaps you should learn to take hints.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21) – Within the next three days, you will realize how relatable Garfield the Cat is.
Cancer (June 21 – July 23) – It should be noted that your emotions are valid. Just not the fact that your eye bags are from binge-watching “Bob’s Burgers” all night.
Leo (July 23 – August 23) – By holding grudges, you’re making things harder for yourself. Forgive your childhood crush for having a significant other.
Virgo (August 23 – September 23) – Sometimes growing up is necessary. You might actually enjoy paying bills more than going to school every day.
Libra (September 23 – October 23) – Sometimes your crush will like you back, and sometimes they won’t. But don’t try to be the center of attention to find out. It won’t work.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 22) – Reading Shakespeare? Don’t waste your time. The dude’s been dead for like 400 years. Indulge in some Edgar Allen Poe instead.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 22) – At this time, don’t be scared to ask that person out on a date. Take a chance even if it means rejection.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) – Don’t be crusty. Apply your chapstick thoroughly.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) – Self-pity isn’t very attractive so don’t wallow over a break-up. It’s 2019 and there is plenty of single fish in the sea.
Pisces (February 18 – March 20) – You don’t have to be accepted by everyone. Don’t make yourself look more confident or prepared than you actually are. That’s not attractive either.
