By Dani Ricker, Karen Esparza & Rylee Mathis Posted October 16, 2013
Listen up children; it’s time to go over the unspoken rules of the halls and classrooms. It’s Lowry Code. This issue we’re talking about PDA, what not to wear, and gum etiquette. So grab your favorite pack of gum, stop making your boyfriend, and let’s get down to business.
First topic: PDA.
Karen: PDA is like Axe Body Spray, it’s gross, unnecessary, and completely uncalled for in the middle of the hallway. I can’t express how aggravating it is to walk up to your locker only to find it blocked by a couple having a go at sucking each other’s faces off. All I need is my stupid history book, I don’t want to hear about your undying love for each other because let’s face it you two will mostly break up by the end of next week. Just
keep it short. If you want to be all over each other, do it outside of school.
Dani: PDA should stand for Private Displays of Affection. Your boyfriend is not a hammer; don’t go all Miley Cyrus in the hallways. Short and simple guys. It’s like going to a nudist beach, uncomfortable and sometimes traumatizing to watch, especially if you guys are being louder than my iPod. That is definitely not okay.
Rylee: I think PDA is adorable. If I see you sucking face and we’re good friends, you can bet your bottom I’m going to ruin the moment by running up and shouting “D’aaawww!” in both your ears.
Topic Numero Dos: Dressing for the weather.
Karen: SUMMER IS OVER!!!! If the temperature outside is less than 50 degrees you should definitely not be wearing short shorts or a mini skirt. It doesn’t matter that you’re “wearing tights”, those offer zero protection from the cold. So ladies and gents (you know if you’re into that) when you decide not to heed this warning then don’t get angry with me when I laugh at you and your frostbite.
Dani: Alrighty girls, I get it, your shorts are cute and stuff. And hey, that’s a pretty dress. But it’s like 50 degrees outside. Put on some jeans. If you’re complaining that your legs are turning purple because you’re that cold, sucks for you. Put some pants on. You’re welcome. I understand you want to look cute and all, but I’m willing to bet you can rock that hoodie and boots look. Own it, girl. And guys, if you’re going to wear shorts when it’s this cold outside, I don’t want to listen to you complain that you’re cold. You can also rock that hoodie and jeans look. Get it, girl.
Rylee: I don’t think I’ve ever dressed for comfort. If it’s 32 degrees outside and you’re tired of wearing pants, wear the heck out of that skirt. Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean we have to dress like hobos all season. You’ll see me in a dress this winter, and my legs may be purple and I’ll complain all day about freezing my buns off, but I’ll look good and that’s all that matters.
And last but not least, topic three: Gum.
Karen: First and foremost, don’t ask people for gum; if they wanted to give you some they would have offered. The bottom line is it’s their gum, they spent their hard-earned money on it, respect that and walk away. Secondly, a true friend never reveals where they got the gum from, if you do, I expect a brand new package from you, preferably Spearmint. Finally keep it in your mouth, with no bubbles, and absolutely no loud chewing.
Dani: I happen to love chewing gum. I see no problem with it. I’m a master at making that click noise, too. It sounds like bubble wrap, and I love that. Sorry, not sorry if that bugs you. However, I don’t want to see you pulling on your gum or see it hanging out of your mouth. That’s gross. It’s supposed to stay in your mouth, so keep it there. Please and thank you.
Rylee: If you got it, chew it. Next subject.
Well, that’s the end of the Lowry Code. Tune in next issue where we’ll be taking a step up and talking about some of the more obscure happens at Lowry.