By Samm Sharp Posted: June 4, 2020
Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Since you follow through with absolutely nothing, our best guess is that you’ll be offered a job at a high paying company and sleep through your alarm clock on your first day.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Fast food. Either spending all your money on it or working it.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – You will want to become a geologist until you realize that chemistry is involved.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Maintain your mental health with some Magnolia candles and bubble baths. One more breakdown and McDonald’s for life it is.
Leo (July 23 – August 22) – You’ll soon be the next King/Queen of England.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22) – You might not have every detail figured out. Who does though? Never lose your tunnel vision.
Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Either Harvard or community college, since you have such a problem with being indecisive.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – If you don’t clean up your act, life will clean it up for you. It won’t be pretty. One word: priorities.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) – Just taking a wild guess here… bacon-grease slip-n-slide.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) – Take yourself seriously, otherwise no one will.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) – Keep growing your luscious locks and you’ll soon join a heavy-metal band.
Pisces (February 18 – March 20) – Your truck will break down after your grad party. Unfortunately, you’ll be stuck in Winnemucca for at least another month.