Get some advice from the Soul Sisters

By The Soul Sisters Posted February 15, 2012

Dear Soul Sisters,
I really need to lose some weight for prom. I found a beautiful yellow and orange, taffeta and silk ball gown that was inspired by a red-carpet down that Big Bird displayed at the Golden Globes, but it only comes in a size 8. I wear a 10. I am willing to try anything. What is the fastest and best way to drop some pounds?

Desperate to Drop.

Dear Desperate to Drop,
We have the perfect pre-prom workout for you. JOIN WRESTLING! Lowry is home to the best wrestlers in the state of Nevada. They know a lot about dropping and gaining weight. You should work out with them and coach Brooks for a week or two. It’ll also be a great way to meet friends and a future prom date. Hope this helps!
~Soul Sisters

Dear Soul Sisters,
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
-Proud Nana of 4

Dear Proud Nana of 4,
1-800-247-0000. ‘Nuff said. Hope this helps!
~Soul Sisters

Dear Soul Sisters,
I was recently mauled by a badger. I am now one-eyed with seven fingers and 4 toes. A lot of my face was damaged or eaten off. What are some ways I can still feel beautiful when I look like E.T?
~Honey Badger Didn’t Care

Dear Honey Badger Didn’t Care,
Everyone feels better after a spa day! Try that. Or, if you are feeling adventurous, treat yourself to a head-to-toe makeover, you might need to hire a Hollywood make-up artist. Invest in a new car, cosmetic surgery, or a mask. Hope this helps!
~Soul Sisters

Dear Soul Sisters,
I am rude to my teacher and make fun of him constantly, I never do my work, and I make unnecessary comments in class, but I still want to get good grades. What do I do?
~Lazy Daisy

Dear Lazy Daisy,
You should ask Madison Waldie and Jessie Schirrick how they do it. They seem to have this to a science. The rude, lazy, and loud attitude, but they still get “good” grades. Hope this helps!
~Soul Sisters

Dear Soul Sisters,
I need to make some wishes, but I’m afraid of stars, the number 11, and birthday candles. I’m pretty stingy with my pennies as well. So how am I supposed to make any wishes?! For instance, I really need to grow a few inches so I can make the basketball team, and I also want to attain 200 friends on Facebook before the end of the year, it is my resolution. How are any of my wishes going to come true now?

~Wally the Unwilling Wisher

Dear Wally the Unwilling Wisher,
Instead of sitting back and writing to us about your petty problems maybe you should get up and actually work to achieve the things you want, especially considering some people at this school have REAL problems. Hope this helps!
~Soul Sisters

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *