By Jessie Schirrick Posted June 4, 2014
I did it. I ate the sour watermelon.
The only bad thing about instrumental songs is that you can’t write down the lyrics.
I get really anxious about driving because it is a lot like a crazy math equation. You can only go sometimes, but sometimes you have to stop and even when you go you have to make sure someone else isn’t going. How can anybody be expected to pay attention to all of those things at once? Also, I’m having recurring dreams of terrible events happening while I’m driving.
I’m just grateful that there are actually people out there who feel bad enough for me to be my friend.
“Nothing lasts forever” is one of the phrases that can be really happy and really sad. Because that could mean that Communism can’t last forever but that also means that puppies can’t last forever.
Scrambled eggs are really just a bunch of miniature, misshapen omelets. Sometimes all I can think about is food. My brain is like scrambled eggs by this time of the year. I can’t even think in a coherent manner I kind of just blurt out random sentences and pray that I can last without having a breakdown.
China has got some weird stuff going. Like their obsession with Hello Kitty.
If you even try to say you don’t like to talk about yourself you’re lying. Everybody likes to talk about themselves even a little bit. Sometimes it can even be therapeutic because even if you know that the universe doesn’t revolve around you, it’s nice to pretend that it does.
The feeling I get when I figure something out with just a little help from some other people is warm and fresh like a bakery.
People must truly depend on themselves because, in the scheme of things, everybody is going to do exactly what will benefit themselves the most, and if you depend on someone else you will ultimately be left in the dust.
This is the sign you’ve been looking for.
It has become a tradition that I feature a senior in this article in the last issue. So here it goes. Dear Justin Albright, I never liked you.
