By Weston Irons Posted June 9, 2016
To the school, a single point of entry.
To The Brand, a functioning class.
To Mrs. Doyle, bigger cats for the next school year.
To Mr. Setzer, a typewriter to write the book of his choice.
To Mr. Cabatbat, a protein shake.
To the freshmen boys’ P.E. classes, some personal hygiene.
To the fake news section, a punchline.
To the fake news sasquatch, a follow-up.
To Gavin’s articles, an audience.
To the prom committee, some guidelines that people will follow.
To myself, Get a 4.0 GPA.
To Chloe Grace Moretz, my phone number.
To the kid that cut me off this morning, a flat tire.
To my parents, a son that isn’t a disappointment.
To the upcoming students, proficiency exams. (C’mon we had to do them.)
To the couples who plan on going long distances after graduation, a chance at survival.
To Espy who will most likely deny and cut out some of my requests, a sense of humor.
To the school administrators who will also censor some of my requests, also a sense of humor.
To Jared Taylor and Jesus Escobedo, a voice to use.
To Mickey Donovan, an Oscar.
To Maclyn Crnkovich, a chill pill.
To Sierra, Darion, Payton, and Juliana, a 2016 version of the show “Friends”.
To Ariel (Immortal) Gutierrez, a dad.
To Ashlee and Christian, a wedding ring.
To next year’s freshmen, like Jessie said, some brain cells.
To next year’s sophomores, patience because y’all have three more years.
To next year’s juniors, congratulations, you’re halfway there.
To next year’s seniors, good luck.
To the class of 2016, a thank you for the last 12 years of my life, I love you guys :’)
