By Dani Ricker, Karen Esparza, Rylee Mathis, Posted December 18, 2013
Hey there Lowry, this issue we’re talking about teachers. We’ve all got favorites and we’re telling you ours. Popping its way to our second topic is gum. And get ready for some Jingle Bell Rock talk because it’s that time of year again and we’re discussing Christmas music, so sit down and get ready for a lesson ladies and gents, ‘cause this is Lowry Code.
1: Corak vs. Storm, Cabatbat vs. Billingsley, Setzer vs. Hill
Dani: Corak vs. Storm? Well, I’ve never had Storm, plus Corak wears cool shoes. So definitely Corak. Cabatbat vs. Billingsley? Cabatbat does what he wants when he wants. He’s just boss like that. But I think I’m going to have to go with Billingsley, just because he’s not Batbat. Setzer vs. Hill? Well, considering the fact that I’ve never had Hill as a teacher and that Setzer is like, the coolest teacher in the game this is a simple choice. Definitely Setzer. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve talked to Hill outside of class and she’s pretty cool.
Rylee: Corak’s a pretty cool cat, Cabatbat horrifies me, and I don’t know the other four.
Karen: Corak is the only teacher that explains math so it doesn’t require a translation or late-night hair pulling; also I’m his favorite so I pick him, no offense Mr. Storm. No opinion on the next two because I don’t know them well enough and they could beat me up if they wanted to. Setzer is probably the most insightful person I’ve met and he’s an amazing teacher, even though most of his essay topics made me want to curl up in the fetal position and mutter to myself in the corner As for Mrs. Hill she’s the bomb diggity, enough said.
Karen: First and foremost, don’t ask people for gum; if they wanted to give you some they would have offered. The bottom line is it’s their gum, they spent their hard-earned money on it, respect that and walk away. Secondly, a true friend never reveals where they got the gum from, if you do, I expect a brand new package from you, preferably Spearmint. Finally keep it in your mouth, with no bubbles, and absolutely no loud chewing.
Dani: I happen to love chewing gum. I see no problem with it. I’m a master at making that click noise, too. It sounds like bubble wrap, and I love that. Sorry, not sorry if that bugs you. However, I don’t want to see you pulling on your gum or see it hanging out of your mouth. That’s gross. It’s supposed to stay in your mouth, so keep it there. Please and thank you.
Rylee: If you got it, chew it. Next subject.
3: Christmas Music
Dani: I don’t mind Christmas music, but it is really not necessary a month before Christmas. I wouldn’t mind whatsoever if it started playing in December and stopped playing within a week after Christmas. But if it’s playing before Thanksgiving, I’m not going to be in a very jolly mood. I understand that you’re trying to get into the Christmas spirit and all, but I don’t want to hear you singing “Frosty the Snowman” a month before Christmas.
Rylee: It’s like they just skip right over Thanksgiving and go straight from Halloween to Christmas. I don’t like “Jingle All The Way” as it is, I don’t want to hear that stuff the day after Halloween. Lowry Code.
Karen: Just like musicians have opening acts to get the crowd pumped up, early Christmas songs are meant to get the masses excited about the upcoming holiday. I for one love Christmas music and occasionally listen to my favorites as early as October. I’m that really obnoxious, reindeer sweater-wearing, gingerbread-baking, Christmas carol-singing lunatic. Without the radio stations blasting constant holiday tunes it just doesn’t feel like Christmas time. “We need a little Christmas” in order to have a “Feliz Navidad”, a little “Jingle Bells” and chestnuts roasting on an open fire are necessary, otherwise we’ll turn out like Elvis, with his depressing “Blue Christmas”.
Well, that’s it for Lowry Code. Tune in the next issue to read some more of the unspoken rules of the school.